Nap

Yesterday Ava was unusually fussy when I was trying to get her asleep for her afternoon nap.  I did the usual white noise, rock, swaddle, pacifier but she was screaming bloody murder and fighting sleep.  Finally after about ten minutes, after I was partially deaf and at my wits end, I decided to lay her in her crib and give her some alone time.  So I laid her down and closed her door.  She stopped crying and fell asleep within five minutes.  I kept checking on her because I couldn't believe she was asleep.  She has never slept in her crib or on her back for that matter.  She has always slept in her swing or bouncy seat because she would spit up if she was laying flat and wake herself up.  Ava slept for 40 minutes (ten minutes longer than her usual nap).  Her morning nap was 50 minutes long... maybe we're seeing a new trend here.  I hope so.  This whole situation initially made me feel like scum.  I kept thinking - I am doing everything I can to comfort this child, and she would rather lay in a crib by herself.  Selfishly, it made me mad that I couldn't fall asleep during her nap because I was worried about her in the crib.  But the more I thought about it, I realized that this was a victory in some ways.  1: Ava was able to self-soothe.  All the experts say to lay a baby down for a nap while she is partially awake so she learns to fall asleep on her own.  I've tried that a few other times and it was hugely unsuccessful.  2: Ava was able to sleep flat on her back.  Hopefully the sphincter between her esophagus and stomach is getting stronger, so she won't spit up as often.  3: Ava was able to sleep in her crib, a transition that I planned to do around five months, but may have to start sooner.  The hard part is that I am unable to sleep if I'm not in the same room as her.  I tried sleeping on the couch one night when I was mad at Mike, but I couldn't hear her breathing and I couldn't fall asleep.  I guess it will be an adjustment for me too!  Hopefully naps continue to be on the up and up.  Ava is such a happy funny baby most of the time and it makes me sad when she seems so upset.

We spent last weekend in Kansas City for Mike's brother's wedding.  It was one of the first times we went out of town without Darrell (he stayed with a friend).  I knew he was in good hands, but I really missed him.  I felt guilty because it was nice to go out of town and stay in a hotel without a dog.  It just makes it so much more stressful.  And I feel sad when I have to leave him alone in a hotel room all weekend.  Another thought that crossed my mind alot was : ... and I thought it was hard to travel with a dog.  Try a baby!  We had a car packed full of stuff for the baby.  Like usual, the whole weekend revolved around her.  If she was done with the rehearsal dinner, I left.  When she fell asleep at the reception at 6:30, I took her back to the hotel for bed.  When she was ready for a nap in the morning, we left town.  It's amazing how everything we do is determined by Ava, even though she's a 3 month old. 

Ava took her first dip in a pool at the hotel.  She appeared to enjoy it.  I think it was relaxing because she almost fell asleep.  She looked adorable in her bathing suit.  It is size 12 months but fit her perfectly.  I'm glad I didn't save it for next summer because it wouldn't of fit!

I'm starting to work more hours; about 16/week.  I feel good about myself when I can financially contribute to the family.  Although motherhood is rewarded with smiles and cooing these days, I can't help but think I should be getting paid in money for taking care of Ava all the time.  I wish I could stay home all the time but smiles and coos don't pay the bills.

Birthday Girl(s)

Happy birthday to my twin sista Brooke and to me!  Today was a great day.  Very low key which is just my style.  I went out to lunch with my daughter at Panera.  We stopped at my favorite local bakery and got cupcakes and frosted Halloween cookies.  I got to snuggle all day with my baby girl and baby dog.  I was able to take a nap when Mike got home from work.  

Here's Ava in her "back to school outfit" from Aunt Brooke.  The shirt says, "Hoot Hoot.  I'm cute."



I wanted Hy-Vee chinese for supper.  This is what Mike decided to wear....  Aren't I a lucky lady?

In case the picture doesn't do justice, he's wearing a white v-neck t-shirt (chest hair exposed), gray sweats with pockets and elastic at the ankles, black socks, athletic shoes.  He did untuck his shirt once we got there.  I know Hy-Vee isn't the classiest place to eat... but come on.  I felt like I should be getting paid to take him out, like when I worked at Systems (group home).  I have to admit he is quite adorable!

It's really hard being away from my sister on our birthday.  It's just not quite the same unless she's around to celebrate.  Days like today make me miss my family.  I just want to be able to go to my parent's house and chat or have my brother and sister over for supper.  Boo, I don't like to dwell on this but it's always on my mind. 

It's 8:20pm.  Ava is in bed and Mike is asleep on the couch.  When does my wild birthday party start?

La la la I'm 28 now.  Last year was such rush, and I have a feeling this year will be even more fantastic!



That's my girl!

I am proud to announce that Ava slept last night from 9pm until 730am.  Alleluia!  Mike, Darrell and I got some much needed uninterrupted sleep.  Although, I kept waking up, thinking, "Have I gotten up tonight?  Is she still sleeping?"  I also got paranoid, thinking maybe something was wrong because she was sleeping so long.  But the little chunk just needed to snooze. 

Sleep

Not getting much sleep around here these days.  Since Friday night, I've probably gotten around 12 hours of sleep.  Ava was doing great with sleeping through the night until last Friday.  Now she is getting up at least every hour and a half.  It's exhausting.  I was reading about "sleep regression" that occurs around 3 months.  I was feeling optimistic and empowered because I was learning about what sleep regression is... until I read that it usually lasts around 3 weeks.  What?!?!  I cannot keep up with this schedule for 3 weeks.  I will freak.  Mike got up with her once last night, but I usually don't make him because he has to work in the morning.  I've tried to sleep in the recliner but it hurts my neck too bad and I wake up about every 5 minutes.  During the day, Ava does great.  She eats about every 3-3.5 hours and naps regularly (even if it's only for 30 minutes).  I usually try to lay down when she naps, but truthfully a 20 minute nap isn't really worth it.  And... I've been having trouble falling asleep.  Last night I put her to bed around 10 and laid awake until 11:30.  I am at the end of my rope.  I'm starting to think that infancy is mother nature's cruel experiment to see how far mothers can be stretched before they snap.  Last week I was just thinking that I'm finally starting to get the hang of things.  Life with a baby was really getting enjoyable.  I pray for the end of sleepless nights around here!

Ava is 3 months old!

Ava is three months old today!  The time has gone by so fast and so slow in so many ways.  I have learned so much as a mom since we brought her home from the hospital.  I continue to learn something new everyday.  It makes me laugh to think how clueless we were just three months ago. 

Leah came last weekend to take Ava's three month pics.  They turned out fabulous as usual.  I know Leah will be famous for her photography someday, and I hope Ava can be her model so we can be rich also. 

It's amazing to see how fast Ava is growing.  A week ago I went to put her in a dress for my cousins wedding and it was too snug!  I got some outfits out of her six month box and they fit her perfectly.  (Yes, she already has a huge Tupperware box full of six and nine month clothes).  She is almost too big for her 3-6 month clothes.  It's sad to think that she will never wear her cute little summer rompers again.  Boo hoo. 

We are celebrating today in the following ways:  Ava is currently kicking her legs to Sesame Street, trip to toy store to pick out a present, supper as a family. 

Where have I been?

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately.  Truthfully, I feel like I can't blog anymore because my readers would try to commit me to a mental institution.  People keep telling me that "It will get better."  And it is... slowly, but it's still not good.  I am so sleep deprived.  Ava was sleeping through the night for about two weeks but the last two nights she has been up every hour and a half.  Not necessarily wanting to eat, just needing to burp, be rocked, look around, etc.  I'm so exhausted.  To make matters worse, she only takes 30 minute naps throughout the day.  By the time I get her laid down I have 20 minutes or less to fall asleep before she wakes up again.  And I can usually count on Darrell waking me up after about 5 minutes.  I'm back to work, which makes the situation worse.  It's scary that I'm responsible for taking care of critically ill patients when I'm a wack-a-doodle myself.  Mike helps as much as he can - he is having trouble detoxing from his active social life.  I understand that he wants to go places and do things, but it's really hard being here by myself.  I need to move closer to my family.  It was a horrible idea to have a child and live so far away.  I have no one to help me.  Anyway, before I start crying again, here is a recent pic of Ava:

Soon...

I will blog again.  Soon...  I hope...  I think a new laptop is in my near future.  Right now I am too busy with the baby to find time to sit down and type.  I supposed I could type one handed, but the posts would be short.  I will leave now with a recent pic of the peanut: