Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. Truthfully, I feel like I can't blog anymore because my readers would try to commit me to a mental institution. People keep telling me that "It will get better." And it is... slowly, but it's still not good. I am so sleep deprived. Ava was sleeping through the night for about two weeks but the last two nights she has been up every hour and a half. Not necessarily wanting to eat, just needing to burp, be rocked, look around, etc. I'm so exhausted. To make matters worse, she only takes 30 minute naps throughout the day. By the time I get her laid down I have 20 minutes or less to fall asleep before she wakes up again. And I can usually count on Darrell waking me up after about 5 minutes. I'm back to work, which makes the situation worse. It's scary that I'm responsible for taking care of critically ill patients when I'm a wack-a-doodle myself. Mike helps as much as he can - he is having trouble detoxing from his active social life. I understand that he wants to go places and do things, but it's really hard being here by myself. I need to move closer to my family. It was a horrible idea to have a child and live so far away. I have no one to help me. Anyway, before I start crying again, here is a recent pic of Ava:
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3 comments:
Oh Becka. I know how you feel. I wish I had some encouraging words to say but I remember that whenever people told me that it would get better I would get real mad. It just takes time. By the time Ava is one everything will be different. It is hard when you don't have help and have to work on top of that. Could you guys move closer to family? You have the neatest parents and they would be such a huge help. Hang in there Becka! It will get better.
Becka, you are sooooo good with Ava. Always so patient and LOVING! Anyone in your situation with feel the same way so don't get down on yourself. Hang in there!!! Can't wait to see you this weekend.
You have no idea how much reading this blog felt like I was reading something I wrote myself 20 months ago. Taking care of a newborn is so exhausting and it seems like it is never going to get better...but speaking from experience, it does get better! You've always got support here if you need it...p.s. I think moving closer to your parents sounds like a GREAT idea...pack up Leah while you're at it =)
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