Nap

Yesterday Ava was unusually fussy when I was trying to get her asleep for her afternoon nap.  I did the usual white noise, rock, swaddle, pacifier but she was screaming bloody murder and fighting sleep.  Finally after about ten minutes, after I was partially deaf and at my wits end, I decided to lay her in her crib and give her some alone time.  So I laid her down and closed her door.  She stopped crying and fell asleep within five minutes.  I kept checking on her because I couldn't believe she was asleep.  She has never slept in her crib or on her back for that matter.  She has always slept in her swing or bouncy seat because she would spit up if she was laying flat and wake herself up.  Ava slept for 40 minutes (ten minutes longer than her usual nap).  Her morning nap was 50 minutes long... maybe we're seeing a new trend here.  I hope so.  This whole situation initially made me feel like scum.  I kept thinking - I am doing everything I can to comfort this child, and she would rather lay in a crib by herself.  Selfishly, it made me mad that I couldn't fall asleep during her nap because I was worried about her in the crib.  But the more I thought about it, I realized that this was a victory in some ways.  1: Ava was able to self-soothe.  All the experts say to lay a baby down for a nap while she is partially awake so she learns to fall asleep on her own.  I've tried that a few other times and it was hugely unsuccessful.  2: Ava was able to sleep flat on her back.  Hopefully the sphincter between her esophagus and stomach is getting stronger, so she won't spit up as often.  3: Ava was able to sleep in her crib, a transition that I planned to do around five months, but may have to start sooner.  The hard part is that I am unable to sleep if I'm not in the same room as her.  I tried sleeping on the couch one night when I was mad at Mike, but I couldn't hear her breathing and I couldn't fall asleep.  I guess it will be an adjustment for me too!  Hopefully naps continue to be on the up and up.  Ava is such a happy funny baby most of the time and it makes me sad when she seems so upset.

We spent last weekend in Kansas City for Mike's brother's wedding.  It was one of the first times we went out of town without Darrell (he stayed with a friend).  I knew he was in good hands, but I really missed him.  I felt guilty because it was nice to go out of town and stay in a hotel without a dog.  It just makes it so much more stressful.  And I feel sad when I have to leave him alone in a hotel room all weekend.  Another thought that crossed my mind alot was : ... and I thought it was hard to travel with a dog.  Try a baby!  We had a car packed full of stuff for the baby.  Like usual, the whole weekend revolved around her.  If she was done with the rehearsal dinner, I left.  When she fell asleep at the reception at 6:30, I took her back to the hotel for bed.  When she was ready for a nap in the morning, we left town.  It's amazing how everything we do is determined by Ava, even though she's a 3 month old. 

Ava took her first dip in a pool at the hotel.  She appeared to enjoy it.  I think it was relaxing because she almost fell asleep.  She looked adorable in her bathing suit.  It is size 12 months but fit her perfectly.  I'm glad I didn't save it for next summer because it wouldn't of fit!

I'm starting to work more hours; about 16/week.  I feel good about myself when I can financially contribute to the family.  Although motherhood is rewarded with smiles and cooing these days, I can't help but think I should be getting paid in money for taking care of Ava all the time.  I wish I could stay home all the time but smiles and coos don't pay the bills.