Pain scale

*One of my biggest frustrations as a nurse in the emergency department is "THE PAIN SCALE." I get so tired of saying, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?" Yes, I know pain is subjective. I have to document whatever rating the patient gives to his pain. But come on... You wouldn't believe the crazy answers people give when asked to rate their pain.
For example:

• "Does the scale go higher than 10?" - No, if it did I would tell you. Just rate your pain so we can move on.
• "Between 7 and 9" - Umm, in my world this is an 8.
  
• "8 and a half" - Half is not an option. If you say "something and a half" your pain score will automatically be rounded down to the nearest number.
  
• "Definitely 10/10!" - Meanwhile, the patient is texting on her cell phone, or eating Doritos, or whining about how tight the blood pressure cuff is squeezing. And her reason for coming to the ER is "stubbed my toe last week." Don't make me give you my classic line of "If zero is no pain and ten is getting your leg sawed off without anesthesia..."
  

Morale of the story: Saying your pain is 10/10 while you paint your fingernails in the triage office does not mean squat. If you truly are having the worst pain of your life, I want to see tears. I want to see you doubled over. I want grimacing. At least give me a frown or something.

*working a 12 hour shift in the ER on a Saturday night may result in sarcastic blogs